Just Don't Touch My Soul With Dirty Hands

That's the secret, right?

I've given you my soul and opened doors for you to walk through, but I just hope you remember to never touch me with dirty hands. Is it too rash to say I know you wouldn't, though? I guess it's just the trust I have in you talking...

With the sun going down and your heart beating steady I can't help but sprawl my body out against yours. Our legs so casually tangled and my hands memorizing you like the intricate lines of my favorite pattern...

My fingertips feel the stubble grow, and I can't help giggle. You hate to shave... but you do it anyway. I LOVE when you shave, but I've learned to love the way your stubble feels against my skin.

It's bliss... being with you.
It's bliss seeing the way your eyes look at me.
It's bliss sharing every piece of me with you.

The way you talk about me to others even as I can't understand what you're saying makes my heart grow. Your love is clear, and I can't help but want to hold your hand. I can't help but want to explain how you're the sunlight I look to.

I can't help but let my soul turn to mush as a lifetime with you plays in my head. I can't help but gasp as I catch myself wanting to be old with you.

It's bliss.

I tell you silly stories and sometimes squeeze one out of you. You're a little harder to crack, but it's so special when you do share things with me. It's great when your whispers fill my ears.

My heart does a little dance every time you give me THAT smile. You kiss me and tell me little things not knowing how much it means to me, but it makes my heart skip a beat. Is that silly? Maybe.

I have a lifetime with you, and yet I just want to know you better now. I can't get my fill of you, and I don't see it happening any time in our lives.

Sometimes there's nothing to be said in that moment, but I seem to just invent it as I go. If only to hold that communication with you. We can talk about anything! I don't care if I'm on a ramble or spilling a fear... like I said it just comes out, and I'm okay with it as it goes.

I never seem to run out of tenderness for you.

I keep reaching for you, because I need to feel you close.

The small window is closing, and we have to face this coming struggle together, but I have no doubt we will.

You've given me an extra backbone even while I'm sick feeling like a lifeless body... you give me something I can't describe. Even if it's just the strength to open my eyes... You give me that, and I'm able to share my love with you for that moment longer.

I hope you excuse my bad writing and emotional tsunami of words. I guess you do that to me. I'm so overwhelmed with feelings that the rawness in my writing is evident. It's not polished how people expect, because I want you to see. I want you to understand that I don't care whether my words are delivered beautifully, because they're meant beautifully. They're genuine, and I don't sit here thinking of how to say what it is I want to say. I just try to show you my heart. No, I just show you my heart and hope that that's beauty enough for you.

I wonder if you remember me telling you how much I enjoy a particular writer's style. She's someone who is typically very heavy in their influence on my style. I haven't embraced it in a while, which is good to be honest. She was quite tortured, but there are some beautiful things she wrote.

There's one thing in particular that I read, and I hope you see the beauty in it. It's how I feel for you...

"In a way, I am never empty of you; not for a moment, an instant, a single second."

You see, whether we are physically near or far... you're with me. You are in the borders of my mind and in the entirety of my heart. We will get through time and have so many more memories to hold.

I'll forever hold the summer nights of tangled limbs with your smile looking into me. I'll forever hold the moments you told me you loved me, because you could, so you did... so I'd never forget, but I couldn't when you show me every day. I'll always hold these memories of us holding hands and even the pouting moments you get in your head. I'll always be full of you, and I'll always cry for you. If anyone is worth the tears, it's you.

I guess what I'm saying is some people wait around hoping they're enough for someone, but even as strangers we knew each other in a way other people don't understand. You're enough for me. You're what I want and want to keep... You make me feel like I'm the same for you, and there's nothing more wonderful than that to me.

A lifetime of you and me, cause there's a part of me I keep under lock and key... But somehow your key fits perfectly with me, and there's only one key, baby, so I hope you keep it close to you for me.