He Doesnt Even Know

He doesn't even know just how deep my love goes for him...

He's intertwined himself with me, and I want him in every aspect.
I want the rainy days with him and the days where it feels like we're all walking candles melting away.
I want the exciting days and the calm ones.
I want everything with him.

I want the complexity and simplicity of life with him.

He's the one I want to fall asleep tangled with and the one I want to wake up peppering with kisses for a lifetime and then some.
 
I want the messy pillow forts that have him in them. I want to be the little spoon to his big spoon. I want to fill our fort with giggles, wandering hands, not knowing where to settle. Being in that moment, together, nothing else bothering us... feeling safe in his arms... That is what I want a lifetime of.

He kisses me until my knees buckle and my cheeks flush the color of cherries. Whenever I even think of him, my heart flutters, my stomach flips. It's all something out of a dream.

I've been talking about the way he takes away my breath... it's something bigger than myself. I couldn't start to explain it without a dizzy head.

The first time he whispered, “I love you,” I heard it over and over again in my head for days. It felt so right... I was dizzy with his love.

When we kiss, the world around us dissolves. It's just him and me, and I can't help but drown so wonderfully. When I'm with him, the world stops turning. Time is suspended; it's only us, and I'm so in love with the forever we've created.

He's the person I want to share my life with, every nook of me is an open book to him even the pages I can't quite read...

I never knew someone would look at me the way he does, and the considerate thoughtfulness in all he says and does only makes me love him more each day.

Adding Colors

He's pulling me apart at the seams while adding pieces where I didn't know anything was missing.

He's a different color than what I thought love would be. The only fairy tale sense about this is accepting it's real and not a tale. This goodness is real, and it's ours... but he's not anywhere near cliche. He's like my dad in that sense. My dad says things how they are. He has no need to make things sound better, and I guess that's where my brother got that, as well. There's just a raw honesty that I value in him. He communicates with me, and it's something I hold dear.

His grip on my hips is different. The ending has been the same every damn time, before him. Now, I'm hoping for something different. I'm living something different.

I've always appreciated the beauty of a secret. Privacy is something I cling to even in this day and age. I can expose my bones online, sure, but you won't know my flesh how he can. I don't have to tell anyone anything. I have control. I show what I want, nothing more than that... but there's no reason to hide with him. I'm not afraid of showing him the heavier colors.

He's shown me enough colors to make a beautiful water color painting. It's in the way he spun me in that empty parking lot. It's in the way he looks to his left while he's deep in thought. It's in the way his eyes crinkle with every cm his lips stretch into a smile. The color is in his lips when he whispers his feelings into my ear so unexpectedly. It's the trace he leaves on my body after we've given each other something you can't grasp unless you love one another... It's the color that rises to his fingertips when he holds me so gently. It's the hurt in his eyes when he shakes his head and can't understand my actions. It's the excitement, hope, love... everything I see in him. The colors are everywhere.


Xx