Missed Calls.

All the polaroids we haven't taken will whither away in a box behind that sofa no one cares to check behind...

You'll wonder what ever happened; it'll be the big question when you find an empty spot where I used to stand. The exhausted songs will be all that remain, and you'll wonder if I'm just another dream when you finally see me again. Four years later, and hearts will stay open like soars under the burning sun...

We won't be kissing in cars or biting shoulders this time. Feet planted to the floor, would you get closer? Would you pull me in like you wished you'd never let me go?

You'll be standing in a bar looking at me while I laugh, and you'll question what changed that day. Why didn't I stay? You'll hate me for moving to the city and wonder if any kiss meant anything or if it was all a game.

Your answer will come rushing in the moment my eyes turn to you... Oh how you wish they had never stopped watching you so long ago...

Our eyes will meet, and you'll feel every touch we ever shared come rushing back like a tsunami without any restraint. You'll remember every tear you wiped away and all the promises we said we'd never break. You'll see the love in my eyes and wonder why it's still burning so strong after so long... Could I still have held you in my heart the way I had said I would so long ago?

I'll have no right to look so pretty under your eyes, but my heart will scream for your arms to hold me tighter than ever before. The elegance you wish had left me will only burn brighter with every breath.

But will you pull me in and never let me go again? Or will we just play strangers under all of their gazes?

Go

There's a fire that erupts in your gut. There's a burning sensation running up your legs spreading through your limbs as your running up those steps to cross that barrier of reality and bliss.

Your limbs are attached to the bass, and you move like an array of strings. The fire spreads to your fingertips, and you feel yourself become enveloped with wings only you can experience. Suddenly it's like a flight you could never recreate that happens in front of everyone else... You feel alive. It's like you can fly. People look at you like you're something special. They just don't know the power of passion. They think you’re a young God… you’re really not. You're just limitless.

The cage you've built for yourself is torn open. You're running, and the blood in your veins ignites under all eyes. You know you will be better, so you lose yourself up there. Nothing else matters.

These people don't know you, but they connect with you. The power of a voice moves people. You say what they don't want to say, and you're suddenly jumping around kicking air. Back bends don’t hurt you and bruises can’t even phase you, besides you can't control your body like a regular person can, not on stage… nothing hurts up there. The movements are natural, though; they're an extension of the voice. You're limitless.

Beautifully paralyzed by the voices in your head that are only of you singing what you never dared to say.

It's crazy. You're crazy... but you're under your own spell.

You're limitless...

Then the spell breaks, and you're faced with reality. It makes you stronger. The passion in your bones can't be wiped away like the tears falling.

You're a wild flower and the gold is in your bones. You can't stop now.

You're unstoppable.

2 AM Thoughts

I think about the things that mattered to me seven years ago.
I think about how different I am.
I think a lot, I guess.

I think about how I should clean my room soon, and I guess that's symbolic in a way... I'm letting the boxes drop... like the weight of things that don't matter anymore.

I'm excited for what's to come. I'm also still dehydrated.
Whoops

I think about how I want to introduce my boyfriend to my dad.
I just think all the time.

Sometimes I think my mind is great.
Sometimes I know my mind is a cage, and I shouldn't let those bars close me in.

I can't sleep, though, so I'll drive around for awhile.
I'm just thinking about how I didn't imagine this year to play out the way it has been.

Today was a great day, though...

It's nice.

Part of me wants to drive until I find that place where I'd look at the city when I was a little girl.
I want to look out and see how different it is.

I'm excited, though. I am. I feel a little fire growing inside, and I catch glimpses of the girl I've always kept inside under lock. It's easier to guard myself, but I find a dark haired boy with happy eyes making me feel safe outside.

How crazy is that?

Alright. That's that.

Xx