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| Song: Spirits Artist: The Strumbellas |
This song and I have had quite the roller coaster. This is the song that I listened to for the first time on the freeway with a friend while my heart broke repeatedly. I felt my heart shattering as this song played for the first time through my ears. It played over and over slowly helping me cheer up. I had no clue this song would repeatedly play that role, though. I guess you could say it has developed a meaning to me or at least some importance, really.
You see, this song is really about fighting your inner demons. It's about trying to change and become a better person in life.
There's always those things in life that are like guns that "won't go," and we all have the "spirits in [our heads that] won't go." It might be a decision we've made or a list of mistakes. We've basically all grown our array of demons. Those are things that are a part of us, and they won't go... but that doesn't mean we can't be better for it.
You just have to look at your life and decide to do your absolute best to be a good person.
Anyways, this song has made me feel every emotion.
It was the last song I heard before I picked up a phone call that same night (my friend introduced it to me) that would mark a turning point in my soon to be relationship. This is also the song I listened to and sang to my best friend while tipsy in a car. I was out of my mind trying to explain my love for this guy who managed to melt all the ice covering my bones. "He's in my bones," is all I could say to explain how deep I had already gotten. It's true, he's everywhere, and I just found myself singing this at the top of my lungs. It came up, and I took the chance. My harmonies were a disaster. My hand gestures were everything. I wanted to twirl into a body of water and sing this song until the sun came up or I fell asleep... drained. Haha
This is also the song that momentarily played while my boyfriend and I were in the Starbucks' drive thru after having spilled our feelings to each other. My heart skipped a beat as we lost the song changing the radio... He had no clue how much this song had played in my life just recently. He had no idea how I drew a connection to him. Now, that moment... it felt like a full circle. The song that I listened to that one night had finally come full circle, in a way.
Then again, when he met my friend Jackie (Jax), this song played. That was another beautiful night. I mentioned how this song followed me, apparently, but he wouldn't have known just how much it moved me... There was no way he'd know.
But how could I not love this song? Like I said, we've all got those demons. We've all been dragging ourselves, at some point. There just comes a day when you stand up and decide this isn't the life you want and change it for the better.
I spent a lot of nights on the run
And I think oh, like I'm lost and can't be found
I'm just waiting for my day to come
And I think oh, I don't wanna let you down
Cause something inside has changed
And maybe we don't wanna stay the same
I got guns in my head and they won't go
Spirits in my head and they won't go
I got guns in my head and they won't go
Spirits in my head and they won't go
But the gun still rattles
The gun still rattles, oh
But the gun still rattles
The gun still rattles, oh
This song just makes me feel the world and then some. I've cried to this song and laughed to this song. I've felt everything listening to this song. I've felt human, though, more than anything.
It's easy to look back and wish we had done things differently, but those things helped shape us. It makes the now even better, and I know that isn't always easy to believe... I just think that if I get this now and for the second half, the first half was worth struggling. Someone told me that in a few different words, and I agree. I guess you can say I feel myself falling into line. I'm not scared of life the way I used to be.
I'm happy. I'm not dumb enough to think life will always be easy, but nothing good comes easy. It's all hard work, and I know the ghosts will "still rattle," but they won't forever...
You could say this song has encouraged me in a way. I mean I guess. You know, I've just ran enough. I'm ready, now. It doesn't matter if we're ready. Sometimes we want something, and things change. Suddenly, we become ready. Some things and some people, I don't know... They wake you up. It feels like my day has come, though, and this song likes to play everywhere to remind me that. Something just changed, and I simply "don't want to see another night lost inside a lonely life while I'm here." Is that cliche? Did you like that lyric integration? lol
Anyways, I found myself listening to this song last night, so I guess it really came full circle. Sometimes, it isn't the song. Maybe this is the case. I've attached feelings to give meaning to this song. This is my MVS for now, but I'm sure we all have that song. I guess this song just got lucky that way.
I just know that I've never been happier, and this song if it could speak... It'd tell you a lot about me. It's seen me struggle with a lot in a short amount of time, but it's also seen me rise to the occasion. It's a crazy silly thing, really.
Xx
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