A Letter to... My Best Friend

You've known me ten years and counting. You've seen the best of me and the worst. I don't know how you've done it all of the time. I always tell you I'm a lot to handle, but you look at me with a smile as if there would be no other handful you'd rather handle. I'm meaner than my demons and bigger than any obstacle or goal. I'm so jumpy jolting at the slightest of sounds, but you've always held me down until the day I don't jump anymore...

You never let me stay in my mind for long. You know I'm well acquainted with the thoughts in my head, and you know that it's okay... but you know how dangerous it is for me to live in there. I know part of it is being your friend... You live in your head, and there's bound to be overlapping of our personalities after ten years. You just make sure I don't get stuck in your world. My world was never limited by the walls of the mind.

So you sit on that driver's seat and let me feel the flames of the wind licking at my face taking all of it away.

You've never been selfish with me, and I've seen you jump through hoops to pull me up. It's never mattered to you if you had to step in a little quicksand if it meant getting me up... I don't know how anyone who isn't blood could do that.

Then I think about it, and I know I'm the same. That's the thing. I'm wild compared to you. Where you appear more collected as you help me... I throw everything. You know that about me, though. I play all my cards. I don't hesitate thinking about the order. It doesn't matter what I could lose if I know the end goal is good. My feelings rule my body and actions. You make sure to balance me out on that, though.

You remember all of the moments in my life. You remember my first kiss. You remember the first time I choked on tears in your arms. You remember the day I left, and you remember when I came back.

The thing is... you've always held onto me. It didn't matter where I pushed or ran. You've always followed me without a thought of what if I didn't want you there. You didn't let those thoughts win, and I'm so glad you are who you are.

We don't always see eye to eye. You've hurt me in ways people can't dream of, but you've also held me tighter than anyone.

You see, we have that on each other. You know exactly the words to cut my legs off... The only sharper tongue than mine is yours... because there's things I could never say to you even if I were pissed off. I bite my tongue the moment I recognize I've cut you once, but I don't think you realize it... I know you don't mean it, though.

We're not perfect in any way, and I don't expect our friendship to be. That's the beauty of us. We're ride or die, but sometimes we trip over rocks... or ourselves. Somehow we still manage to catch each other, and I know you'll always be there. I know you'll always love me so intensely. I know you'll always try to make me remember my birthdays. I know you'll always be taking pictures and making me wear obnoxious tiaras. I know you'll always cheer me on.

I could go on talking about you, but I'd never stop.

You're someone so important to me. You're up there, bubs. You've never had to compete with a guy for me. That's the thing... no one has won me over before. I know it's strange seeing how easily someone has tugged my heart off my sleeve and claimed it as their own... but it doesn't devalue our friendship.

I told you you would be my best friend from the beginning. We're ten years in, and you know it now that I meant it.

I'm not saying I'm That's So Raven lol
But I'm telling you to trust me the way you always have.

You hoped for this. Now we have it. I'm not going away. I'm not leaving you behind. We're still two for two...

G and L

You're the Serena to my Blair, remember?

Think about that dynamic. It's the one we've always had, but it's better. This is real not some tween melodrama written by 40 year olds.

Anyways, thank you for being that person for me. Thank you for always sticking your hand in the flame for me... even when I think I'm not burning. Thank you for looking out for me and making sure people aren't taking advantage of me. Thank you for loving me so unconditionally.

Thank you for seeing how happy I am with him and giving me advice. Thank you for being what I need you to be. Thank you for pushing me to feel what I feel and not let anybody stop me.

Thank you for easing my mind when I'm about to freak out.

Thank you for seeing all of the potential I possess day in and day out.

Thank you for letting me have my guard down.

These past few months we've gone from being at the hip, to not at all, to at the hips and back and forth. The weight of your love is suffocating at times, because I don't know how anyone could possibly love me the way you do. It's so much, but I flourish in it. You don't let a day go by without telling me what I mean to you, and I adore it.

So... you're waiting on the sidelines to make sure this guy isn't going to run off with the best parts of me. I know you do that with my best interest at heart. You joke but not really in regards to asking in December what the verdict is on him. The thing is... I know. I know that doesn't change that you're going to wait... I get it. I'm your best friend. I appreciate that you do what you do. I wouldn't want you to hand me off like a hot potato to the first dude.

I already told you you'll have to be seeing a lot of him throughout our lives, though. I'm not kidding, either. You even tell me you're not opposed to him being at the fair with us and so on. I know whether those things happen or not... you know what that means to me.

You see what my eyes do when I talk about him. You don't have to feel my heartbeat to know my side of this, and I'm thankful for that...

I'm thankful that you're my best friend and ask if I'm doing this or that with my boy lol

Like I said... I can ramble on, but I've done that enough.

Just know you've given me plenty of memories that I hold dear. Here's to the memories yet to come.

Xx